• iCloud integration or whatever.
• Whenever you add Paul Simon’s “Graceland” to a playlist, the playlist is automatically renamed “Dad’s Cool Mix.”
• No matter how many times you play Katy Perry’s “Firework,” the displayed play count stays at zero.
• Sarcastic quotes around “Genius.”
• Plonk: a new social network that will connect – aw, nevermind, forget it.
• If you listen to something that is six hours, 20 minutes and eight seconds long, your display will read 5:80:08, so that when you turn your computer upside down, it says “BOOBS.”
• Incorporating Shazam to tell you what you’re listening to. Oh wait, no. It already tells you what you’re listening to.
• Winamp-style skins.
• Winamp-style slogan, “It really whips the llama’s ass.”
• Buttons that let you skip forward, back, over, under and through the music.
• New “Tripmaster” service to sync your favourite albums with classic movies.
• Whenever you play a Chris Brown song, a judgmental voice says, “Oh, are we forgiving him?”