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What, autocorrect? No.
No.
James Adomian as Marc Maron in IFC/Funny or Die webseries, “Maron in Space”
We good?
Yeah, we good.
(via jamesadomian)
“Things I Thought About While Watching Jurassic Park 3D”
Bonus thoughts:
- Did I really just pay $17.99 to see a twenty-year-old movie?
- Oh, I feel sick. I shouldn’t have eaten that second bag of popcorn.
- DIE-NO-D-N-A
(Source: hereinidaho)
One last thing: Leonard Maltin gave LASERBLAST 2 and 1/2 stars.
“They spelled Roddy McDowall’s name wrong!”
“Titty Bigshave”
7 Aging Milestones No One Warns You About
Everybody knows the big ones in your youth: first time you drive a car, first time you kiss someone, first time you fuck in a tree, etc. Then there’s the first time you have a legal drink, and that’s the end of big firsts, right? Because getting old isn’t so much about “firsts” as emerging trends: you start peeing more at night. You start thinking about your credit more. You don’t have as much energy. Fuckin’ hangovers, man, you don’t even know.
But that’s not true. Big life “firsts” continue long after you take that first legal drink at 21. They’re just not as famous. Until now.
Also this may seem weird but since I write for Cracked I’ve completely forgotten how to write things that aren’t lists.
Go home bird, you’re drunk.
Drunk? Naw, just proving how smart as fuck they are!
Playful behavior
In recent years, biologists have recognized that birds engage in play. Juvenile Common Ravens are among the most playful of bird species. They have been observed to slide down snowbanks, apparently purely for fun. They even engage in games with other species, such as playing catch-me-if-you-can with wolves, otters and dogs.[77] Common Ravens are known for spectacular aerobatic displays, such as flying in loops or interlocking talons with each other in flight.[78][79]
They are also one of only a few wild animals who make their own toys. They have been observed breaking off twigs to play with socially.[80]
“Stop trying to make snow angels, you already have wings”
“YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME”
*rolls around everywhere*
“I don’t know you”
*walks off*
Ravens are so cool!
omfg
they’re helping
COOLPEOPLE.DOC: My 8th Grade Fantasy Invite List to the Greatest Party of All Time
I sold my Beanie Baby collection at the height of the fad in 1999 in order to buy my first used desktop computer - and my Internet activity has been downhill from there! I’m turning 25 next month, and my current hard drive is bursting from all of the files I’ve transferred and hoarded over the years.
The other day, I came across a Word file written by my middle-school BFF Jordan and I in early 2002: A 117-strong list of the bands, historical figures, fictitious characters, and more who we planned to invite to the GREATEST PARTY OF ALL TIME.
She was in 7th grade, I was in 8th, and we came up with this during one of our many sleepovers. The names of real-life friends and cute boys have been deleted for their sake - but I haven’t added or removed any other listings. Original entries are in bold, with commentary on the side.
The list is long, but it’s a great snapshot of our weird little heads. ‘Chris Kattan’ and ‘Mango from SNL’ are listed separately, and one of the listings just says ‘Sugar Ray except not Mark McGrath’.
Here’s a screencap of the original document. Yes, it’s color-coded by gender. In Comic Sans, of course. I can’t make this shit up.:
As a bonus, I’ve added the most embarrassing photos possible to the bottom of this post.
Enjoy, and if you’ve got any way to make this party possible, please contact me immediately.
“10. Bad Rapper - This was a character I made up when I’d run around outside in my giant puffy coat mocking early-2000s puffy-coat rappers.”
I have no reason to believe this isn’t the most authentic and best thing. I wish I could find my old weird-o writing.
This pic reflects many Redditors feelings… and their biggest failure. When Reddit is good, its really good. And when it is bad -and it is frequently bad- its painful.
